Sunday, January 31, 2010

Do you want to add length with no pills, or gimmicks...

In just 3 simple steps I can teach you how to add up to an inch and a half to your foot size (dirty pigs, I know what you were thinking).
I have learned through hands on experience that 3 pregnancies in a 6 year span will increase you foot by a size and a half and completely eliminate your arches. This amazing growth will cause possible difficulties while attempting to wear something other than flip flops or Birkenstock clogs. And if you are a stay at home mom it could take you almost a year to notice the true growth that has happened. It won't be until you are blessed with the opportunity to dress in something that you actually have to iron or oh god, dry clean. Remember those black boot that make you feel slim and tall and maybe even a little sexy, I hope you you have pictures of yourself in them...
Disclaimer: This amazing growth can also cause foot, knee, hip and back pain due to the loss of arches. If you suffer from pain lasting more than 6 hours, please remove your too small shoes, put on your flip flops and head directly to the mall for ridiculously large shoes and maybe splurge for a sexy pair of orthotic insoles- just to make yourself feel special!

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