Wednesday, June 10, 2009

NO pictures for this story!!!!

My life is not glamorous and often times it is monotonous-but every once in awhile there is a moment, hour or even a full day that really livens things up! I'm sure your expecting a loving story about my beautiful children and how smart, sweet and adorable they are- well not this time. This time you get full explicit details and a mental picture of my real life!

Picture bath time 2 nights ago... I hadn't showered that day (maybe 2 days), so I decided a girls shower (myself included) would be the most efficient way to go. We make our way upstairs and take off our clothes...then the questions/comments begin! Sophia is currently obsessed with anatomy and likes to talk about it. You all know what happens in a shower so I won't bore you with those details, but I have decided to share with you the comments I heard during this 10-15 minutes.
  • "Ewww I see your girly hair Mommy" says Sophia-maniacal giggles follow from both girls.
  • "Do you pee in your hair-Eww pee girly hair? asks Sophia while attempting to look as I pee.
  • "Since you shave your legs you should shave that, it's gross"
  • "Your butt is in my face, Abby look at my butt" Sophia says while smacking her ass and wiggling it in Abby's direction.
  • "oh Mommy you smell like a princess, a naked, hairy princess" more maniacal laughter and a SMACK to my boob- more giggles.
  • "I peed" says Abby- Followed by screams of "GROSS" from Sophia
  • "I think I have a hair too, when will I get boobies, will my belly look like that when I'm older, are you looks like your peeing out your boobs and your butt. Maybe that's just the water, no it's pee- Abby is that pee?"
  • And finally Abby screaming at the top of her lungs "I want to get out!!!!!!!!!!!" my sentiments exactly.

Oh, It doesn't end there, as we dry off I think this will be the last group shower. I wrap the girls and myself in towels and proceed to get toothpaste from the cabinet in the hallway. It falls to the ground, I bend over to get it and stand up into the corner of the cabinet BAMMM crack my head bad. I crumble to the floor girls looking at me like I'm crazy. I don't want to scare them so I calmly begin calling to Rich "Hey Rich, can you come here?"-"Rich!"-"Rich I'm hurt!". It is at about this time that I realize I'm bleeding- hmmm how bad is it I wonder. I hear Rich's footsteps on the stair and I then I see his face, with a look of total shock and surprise. Initially I think it is because I'm bleeding and he is concerned. Then I realize he just came up to find me writhing on the floor with blood on my hands STARK NAKED because my towel fell off, with 2 naked little girls looking at me in awe. And his response is "Umm what's going on?". Turns our it was merely a flesh wound and and a big lump, nothing a little ice and Tylenol can't fix. My girls were not freaked out in the least, they wanted to see and touch my lump and help me hold the ice - oh and put on some clothes on me!


Anonymous said...

Sorry, but it is Laugh out loud funny. Thank god there are no pictures.


Miles Bogus said...


Aunt Betsy said...


Aunt Tootsie said...

I remember the days of showering with all three! When the question and comments (mainly about my c-section scar) started, that was the end. They used to sit in the bathroom and read or play until I turned the water off and then they had to go into their room. No one has asked for money for therapy yet and there were plenty of other things that I put them through that would warrant therapy!!